When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize