sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
