i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
