Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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