Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
