What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
