You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I forget how to act sober
Randomize