walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
