Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
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His hands were made for my vagina.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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