just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
