so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
