How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
