the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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