No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
