Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
