rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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