That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i now understand why vodka
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
