We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
