Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
