Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
