how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
