4 words: hood of his car
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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