and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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