You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
