why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
