is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
