she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
