Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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