I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
