I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
