You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
