Plan B is the new Plan A
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
