STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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