He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dignity is for republicans.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i think my cat just said my name.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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