i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sext me about skeletons
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
