ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
