So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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