No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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