i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
