How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
