it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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