no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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