I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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