I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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