Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
