I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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