Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
