Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
