wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
