can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
