"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
