from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
