Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
