Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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