with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
