she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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