I'm lost and stupid without you.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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