: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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