soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
