I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
