So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
