I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
