About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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