I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If I die, sorry about rent.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
