You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
