And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
operation harelip BJ is a go
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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