So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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