My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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